A Message for Young People On the Importance of Family
Something that has been on my mind as of late is the thoughts around family in the modern time of this country. It seems like now more than ever we are seeing all kinds of problems around the topic. This isn’t just one issue either, but rather, many cases I am seeing in society today. As someone who is relatively young myself, 24 at the time of writing this, I think it’s vital for people my age, and younger to gain some much-needed perspective around the importance of family before it’s something they, and our society as a whole regret.
Families don’t always agree and get along, and that’s okay.
It should go without saying, but I will preface it, there are definitely valid reasons to cut out family members from your life. But in a day and age where the focus is so much more focused on cutting out all things “toxic” and just completely focusing on yourself, I think it’s important to remember that we are not always right. If we have disagreements and conflicts it can be a way to learn from one another. We can all learn from each other but young people need to keep in mind that there’s so much wisdom out there if we just take some time to listen to those who came before us. Just because you may not always see eye to eye doesn’t mean that they can’t be part of your team.
You don’t need to leave home as soon as possible.
In America, the culture seems to be mainly focused on once you graduate high school, and turn 18, you get ready and immediately leave home by going off to college, most likely followed by getting an apartment with some friends, or a partner. Or if you’re going into the workforce your main goal is to start a job so that you can move out of your parents into an apartment right away! There seems to be this connotation that people who still live with their parents when they get past 21 or so are either very immature or just some kind of losers. This is such a bizarre way of looking at things! I don’t understand the huge rush to want to leave home. I do understand there comes a sense of freedom when having a space to really call “your own.” But you don’t have to wait until you’ve moved out to start establishing your adult routines. In other cultures, it’s very common to stay living with your parents much later, and it’s seen as a good thing. If you continue to help your parents and them helping you even into adulthood, it makes everyone’s lives easier.
Families aren’t a burden.
Among Gen Z and Millenials today, there are an alarming amount of people who are saying they want to wait until much later in life to start a family, or even not have kids at all! I’m definitely not saying that having kids is for every single person out there, but I do find it interesting that in a generation that seems to be much more “self-focused,” this is the growing trend. But I truly believe that selfish-based thinking will bring you nowhere in the end. No closer to any goals, or dreams you thought you had. Being part of any community is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Humans have never been solitary creatures. We’ve always prospered when working together. And a loving family is the closest community you could probably ever have. Whether it’s focusing on tightening your bonds with the family members you already have, or if it’s starting a family of your own, just know how important it is, and how beautiful it can be!
Family is all you’ll have in the end.
On a personal level, I grew up with 3 generations of women in my household. My grandmother, my mother, and myself. For me, there was no “visiting grandma” She was with me every single day. She took care of me when my mother had to work. Taught me more than my public school education, and was always there when I needed her. We all lived in the same spot together for my whole life. A few years ago now she started really slowing down, and needing help. I stayed with her and took care of all her needs. As she declined more and more as the years passed, I had to do more and more. But I was there taking care of her until she passed. In her bed, in the home that she’s always been in since I was born, surrounded by family.
I share this story because I think it’s important for younger people especially to think about the reality of life and what’s waiting for us all. Not to be scary but to be at peace with it. I feel so blessed and privileged that for me the cycle of life was so beautifully demonstrated. My grandmother took care of me into adulthood and then me being able to care for her. It breaks my heart to know that so many of our elderly are sent away instead of being surrounded by family near the end. I know not everyone’s situation will look like mine. Not everyone can live with or even live that close to their family members. But just recognizing their importance and making efforts to love and support them is a great place to start. I know I want to strive to always be close by and when/ if my mother ever needs help, she will be welcomed in my home with open arms. Think about what you would want when you get feeble with time as well. Would you want to be alone, or surrounded by a family you love?
